How to Date your Mate Using Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages


Brief Summary

Inspired by Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, originally released in the 90’s, the crew dives into relationships and how we give and receive love. Opening up about their own marriages, Nikki, Jolene, and Alyssa talk about the 5 Love Languages and other helpful tips that can help you reflect on your own relationship, reconnect with your partner, and help you Date your Mate!

In this episode we talk about:

This episode is inspired by Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Languages. Originally published in 1992, it is still a popular book on the topic of marriage, relationships, and communicating and receiving love. A commonly used and highly recommended tool in marital and couples therapy, the Five Love Languages helps couples better understand each other in a way that helps grow and strengthen their relationship (, 2021).

What are the 5 Love Languages?

Words of Affirmation

Verbally receiving affirming, encouraging words and compliments to your partner. 

Physical Touch

Frequently engaging in physical touch such as hand holding, massages, cuddling or sitting close.

Acts of Service

When your partner completes small acts or tasks for you to help ease your stress or burden

Receiving Gifts

Receiving small and thoughtful gifts from your partner, thoughtful and meaningful being key.

Quality Time

Spending quality time with your partner and receiving their undivided attention.

Communication in your Relationship

There is no one-fix-all tool to improve relationships, but being intentional and honest in your communication with your partner will be beneficial in your relationship. In addition to exploring Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, also consider the below 3 tips.

  1. Identify and communicate your specific needs to your partner.
  2. Have open or even uncomfortable conversations with your partner about what your like and what you don’t like
  3. Be concrete and detailed, even consider providing examples of what they have done recently that you appreciated

Challenge to our Listeners

Use the information learned in this episode to talk to your partner about how they best receive love. Maybe even take the 5 Love Languages Quiz using the link below and talk about what works and does not work for you.

Resources mentioned:

We’ve pulled together any resources mentioned in this episode and put together some links:

Discover Your Love Language – The 5 Love Languages®

Take the 5 Love Languages Take the Quiz

Thank you for allowing us into your lives and helping us make mental health more relatable and a part of your everyday conversation! 

Who we are:

Nikki Young is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Nikki keeps it personable and professional. Yet, she always manages to keep the Therapists Uncut family and followers laughing. You may find her squirreling through topics, stories, or jokes, and all in good fun. Don’t worry because someone (usually Jolene) will bring her back around to the conversation. Nikki is a licensed marriage and family therapist in her private practice located in Modesto, CA, and she is also a Crisis Junkie at heart. In addition to being co-owner of a group private practice, she is also a crisis clinician responding to local mental health crisis and emergencies. Learn more about Nikki at

Alyssa Najera is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Alyssa is typically calm and composed on most days, but often has difficulty containing her excitement about the little things in life. She can sometimes drift into daydreaming about the endless possibilities in life and usually the last one of the group to understand Nikki and Jolene’s punchlines.  She loves to laugh, spread positivity, and is often caught with a smile on her face. Alyssa is also a Child Welfare Services (CWS) social worker and supervisor alumni, previous child sexual abuse forensic interviewer, and owner and CEO of a group private practice in the small town of Oakdale, CA. Learn more about Alyssa at or

Jolene Daly is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Jolene is a seasoned therapist and private practice owner. She grew up in the Turlock, CA and Modesto, CA area most of her adult life and has been married to her comedian of a husband Jason for 20 years.  She is a genuine, authentic person with a bold personality. You’ll often catch Jolene challenging our listeners and her fellow co-hosts, as she is passionate about her personal and professional values and is vocal when it comes to speaking out for what’s right. Learn more about Jolene at


Thank you for joining Therapists Uncut, a production of AMP Smart Business. To learn more about Therapists Uncut and stay up on upcoming episodes, please subscribe and follow us on social media. As a reminder, although the Therapists Uncut co-hosts are licensed therapists, they are not your therapist. This podcast is not intended to substitute professional mental health counseling. If you need professional therapy, please contact your local provider or primary care provider.  Thanks for listening and we’ll see you on the next episode of Therapists Uncut!

Social Media Links

Instagram @therapistsuncut

Facebook @therapistsuncut


Therapists Uncut is a production of AMP Smart Business.

Voice Over by Alexia Gloria