5 Ways to Survive the Holiday

December 7, 2020 tuncut Anxiety, Communication, Parenting Topics, Relationships, Stressed AF Comments Off on 5 Ways to Survive the Holiday

5 Ways to Survive the Holidays

The holidays are a beautiful thing, but for many of us they can also be real stressful! Join the Therapists Uncut team for 5 ways to survive the holidays, including talk about traditions, personal boundaries, co-parenting during the Holidays, compromise, and perspective. Tune in for stories, laughter, and a little singing and dancing, as the crew is feeling festive for the Holidays!

In this episode we talk about:

The holidays are a beautiful thing, but for many of us they can also be real stressful! Join the Therapists Uncut team for 5 ways to survive the holidays, including talk about traditions, personal boundaries, co-parenting during the Holidays, compromise, and perspective. Tune in for stories, laughter, and a little singing and dancing, as the crew is feeling festive for the Holidays!

  1. Participate in or create new holiday traditions for your family and friends

    • What are your family and cultural traditions?
    • Decide what you do and don’t like about the holidays and decide what traditions you want to stop or what you want to continue.

  1. Identify what your personal boundaries are and follow through with them during the Holidays

    • Avoid feeling “obligated” to attend or participate in anything you don’t want to. Create a pros and cons list and weigh out your options.
    • If your decision is not to attend, learn how to say NO.
    • “Do what you want and I don’t mean that in a selfish way. . . but, do what is healthy for you.” Nikki Young on putting boundaries in place during the Holidays
    • “We are not taught to do this, but it’s so important to do in our adult life. . .When you put up boundaries. . .people are not going to celebrate them, [your family] may not have good things to say to you, but it’s not about them. Your boundaries are about YOU.” Alyssa Najera on implementing healthy boundaries around the Holidays
    • In-Law Culture Shock: Jolene talks about changing traditions, alternating holiday schedules, adapting to new traditions with your partner’s family and all the changes that may come when you’re in a new relationship.

  1. Schedule ahead and be flexible when co-parenting during the Holidays

    • Do your part to communicate ahead of time with your child’s parent to make arrangements as needed. Remember, focus on what is in your control and learn how to cope with what is out of your control.
    • Be flexible with how things work out. Avoid hyper focusing on the details and keep focused on the overall
    • Experience your own emotions and responses, but also recognize your kids hear and absorb everything they are exposed to. Be sure to experience your emotions in a way that does not vomit your personal opinions and emotions onto your children.

  1. Pause and Compromise, but in a way that does not overstep your personal boundaries

    • Learn to work together. Also, remembering that you can only do your part. You cannot control the behavior of your ex but you can make attempts to improve communication.
    • No matter how it plays out, at some point you will celebrate the holidays whether or not it is on the same day or not. In the end, it will be okay.

  1. Be kind and open to that fact that not everyone celebrates that same holidays or traditions

    • Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.
    • Avoid assuming everyone around you is celebrating the same thing, or even celebrating at all
    • Learn more about the traditions of other by being open and curious, not judgmental

Recap Questions for our Listeners

  • Think about what you love or hate around the holidays and decide what traditions you want to stop, pass down, or even create for your family?
  • What is your favorite family tradition?
  • The candy corn debate, who else can relate with Jolene and has a strong love for candy corn?

Resources mentioned:

We’ve pulled together any resources mentioned in this episode and put together some links:

Thank you for allowing us into your lives and helping us make mental health more relatable and a part of your everyday conversation! For more information or to access all episodes visit TherapistsUncut.com.

Who we are:

Nikki Young is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Nikki keeps it personable. Nikki keeps it personable and professional. Yet, she always manages to keep the Therapists Uncut family and followers laughing. You may find her squirreling through topics, stories, or jokes, and all in good fun. Don’t worry because someone (usually Jolene) will bring her back around to the conversation. Nikki is a licensed marriage and family therapist in her private practice located in Modesto, CA, and she is also a Crisis Junkie at heart. In addition to being co-owner of a group private practice, she is also a crisis clinician responding to local mental health crisis and emergencies. Learn more about Nikki at catalystcounselinginc.com

Alyssa Najera is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Alyssa is typically calm and composed on most days, but often has difficulty containing her excitement about the little things in life. She can sometimes drift into daydreaming about the endless possibilities in life and usually the last one of the group to understand Nikki and Jolene’s punchlines.  She loves to laugh, spread positivity, and is often caught with a smile on her face. Alyssa is also a Child Welfare Services (CWS) social worker and supervisor alumni, previous child sexual abuse forensic interviewer, and owner and CEO of a group private practice in the small town of Oakdale, CA. Learn more about Alyssa at smalltowncounselingca.com or alyssanajera.com.

Jolene Daly is co-host of Therapists Uncut and a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Jolene is a seasoned therapist and private practice owner. She grew up in the Turlock, CA and Modesto, CA area most of her adult life and has been married to her comedian of a husband Jason for 20 years.  She is a genuine, authentic person with a bold personality. You’ll often catch Jolene challenging our listeners and her fellow co-hosts, as she is passionate about her personal and professional values and is vocal when it comes to speaking out for what’s right. Learn more about Jolene at dalymft.com.

Disclaimer:

Thank you for joining Therapists Uncut, a production of AMP Smart Business. To learn more about Therapists Uncut and stay up on upcoming episodes, please subscribe and follow us on social media. As a reminder, although the Therapists Uncut co-hosts are licensed therapists, they are not your therapist. This podcast is not intended to substitute professional mental health counseling. If you need professional therapy, please contact your local provider or primary care provider.  Thanks for listening and we’ll see you on the next episode of Therapists Uncut!

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Credits:

Therapists Uncut is a production of AMP Smart Business.

Voice Over by Alexia Gloria